JB had it wrong.

Out of mere boredom and avoidance of reading the rest of my government notes, I present to you my version of Justin Bieber’s “Boyfriend.” In Bieber’s song, he presents information about what he would do if he was someone’s boyfriend. So, here is my, slightly nerdier version of his song, in a less lyrical way.

If I was your girlfriend, I could let you go. I’d let you spend time with the bros, play LOL without fear of judgement, and laugh at your jokes, especially when they reference Reddit. If I was your girlfriend, I would have you as the taste tester for all my baked goods and cooking. Let you tell me honestly if my food was actually good, without yelling at you if it’s not. If I was your girlfriend, I would get on my tip-toes just to hug you, let you kiss me on the forehead because it’s closer in distance, and tell you it’s okay if we stay in. If I was your girlfriend, I wouldn’t mind going golfing with you, or simply going for a run over some fancy restaurant. If I was your girlfriend, I wouldn’t let you pay every time – we’re broke college students, let’s be honest. I’d make you laugh with all my bad jokes, pick-up lines, and strange socially awkward facial expressions. I’d make time for you in my busy schedule, even if it means we’re just cuddling. I’d leave you “good luck” notes before a big test or interview. I’d support you.

If I was your girlfriend, I would let you go if it made you a better person.

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